I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
He passed out mid-signature
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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