the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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