i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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