Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
