but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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