batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
