I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
COCAINE IS GR8
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
