so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
it was like eating out sand paper
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
