New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
