You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize