it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
