just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
