Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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