bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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