i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
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