am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
