i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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