we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize