just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
