I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
