just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
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