So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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