Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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