so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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