I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
