The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
