He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
