That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
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