i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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