just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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