so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I just googled if crying burns calories
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
