well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
