is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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