buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
