so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
In America we eat man semen.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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