he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
My dick has a subreddit
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
