We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
