I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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