Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize