Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Sex in the backyard? Check.
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