OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
