At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
i've created a new STD.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
