i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
