remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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