Your mouth is God's brothel.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
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