Need sex. Gaining weight.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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