I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
