Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
There are leaves in my underwear?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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