I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Randomize
