so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
this must be what syphilis tastes like
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
