YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
