Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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