Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Randomize
