Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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