Me too!
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
