Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
