i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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