Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
My vagina is officially offended.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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