I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize