i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
