someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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