Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize