In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
a search helicopter?!
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
