I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
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