I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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