'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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