You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize