i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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