Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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