tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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