id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
