He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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