so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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