How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
