all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
