Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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