She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
